So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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