she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
