I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
