OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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