When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
