he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
