if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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