Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
