with your own penis?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
