Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
