Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
