ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
