It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
