Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
