One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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