I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
