You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
