he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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