Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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