Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
