Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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