Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My brain says no but my pants say off.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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