Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
