i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
