Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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