; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
