she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
