handjob tips. give me some.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
