True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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