The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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