I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
