Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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