i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
