I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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