a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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