now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
