It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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