Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
