you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
