I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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