I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im holly from the hills drunk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
