Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
