I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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