pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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