Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
