Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
