I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
