piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
