What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
