he puts the penis in happiness.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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