do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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